I Literally Stole Everything
by kiboeme
Summary: At first I thought I was just taking a one-time opportunity to get some free stuff. Then I was grabbing Link's spilled junk every time I saw him. Turns out, I was actually stealing everything of his. Including his heart. Oneshot. Fluff. LinkxMaple. Oracle games manga/games with some headcanon. K.


Hey, 'sup? The name's Maple, and I'm the most skillful witch you'll find this side of Hyrule. Okay, just kidding. I'm not actually _that great _at this witchery stuff; I'm still learning! Can't blame me!

I guess I would describe myself as an opportunist. Yeah, that sounds about right. I see opportunities to get rich or have fun and I take them. For some reason, not everyone has the guts to do that. But I guess it's like Maple has always said: I got some spunk in me.

Oh, you're wondering about Link? How did I, great magic wielder and sorceress apprentice, end up attached to a farmboy puppy like him? Actually, that's a pretty good question. See, it went down something like this:

We met when he was in the middle of his adventure. I didn't really understand what he was going on about at the time, but eventually I figured out that the funky triangle mark on his hand actually did mean that he was destined to become a legend and essentially save the world. He was in the middle of trying to get the Oracle of Seasons, Din, back. Never quite understood why she was so important, since after Link got that Rod of Seasons he could basically do the same things she could, but he thought it was important. The funny part is _how_ we met.

Technically I was stealing. I like to refer to it more as the physical side of entrepreneurial effort, but most people don't see it that way. So I was stealing. He and this kangaroo (a kangaroo, really, no joke) were going along and it looked like they had some cool stuff, so I used my magic and my broom to knock the poor sap over and take his stuff. Okay, _fine_, I ran into him on accident. Whatever. Like I said, I'm an opportunist. So I capitalized on it! Hang me. He had a pretty good number of rupees, plus a sword and shield and a few other knickknacks that I didn't know were valuable until later. I took the stuff I could sell and took off before they could do anything.

You'd think that maybe after the first time he'd understand that I was bad news, but the next time I saw him he ran right up to me again. I guess you could say that my skills with a broomstick at the time were… questionable, to say the least. I didn't have a lot of control over where I went or how fast. So of course, the second my attention went from controlling the damn broom to looking at Link, I lost control and crashed into him again.

And then I took more of his stuff.

Eventually, it became sort of a game. We ran into each other a few more times while he gallivanted around Holodrum, and each time he saw me struggling with my broomstick he'd run up and offer help.

What I never really let on was that I had actually gotten lots better at controlling it. I could look at him and hover and talk to him like a normal human being if I wanted to. Thing is, I never wanted to. Every time he showed up, I would pretend to let my broom go crazy and dump both of our bags on the ground, and then I would pick up everything—including Link's junk—and take off with it. It was always funny, and he had some good stuff besides! Sometimes he managed to get his own things back and even grab some of mine, but that didn't happen much. Every time I left, I never stayed long enough to see whether or not he was mad at me. I was sure he was, so why stick myself in the line of angry fire, right?

See. Opportunist.

Then he disappeared for a while. The kangaroo he'd been running around with told me that he'd gone off somewhere else to help another country, Labrynna. Not gonna lie, I knew even then that I was really going to miss him.

So what did I do? I followed him there, of course.

We picked up our game again in Labrynna. I would struggle with my broom, he would try to help out, I would run into him, take his rupees and pieces of heart, and then soar away into the sunset with a giggle. Back then I thought I'd actually fooled him into thinking that I was pathetic on a broomstick, but now that I think about it he had to have realized I used it to get to Labrynna. I thought he was the village idiot. But he was just humoring me.

Before long, he'd saved Labrynna too. There was a period of time where I barely saw him at all but heard snippets of gossip here and there, and when I found him again they turned out to be true. He literally had Din on his right hand, Nayru on his left, and this other girl (who turned out to be the Oracle of Secrets, Farore) had draped herself over his shoulder. He had three girlfriends!

I thought he was all set, especially when I walked right in front of him and he didn't see me. Asshole was ignoring me! We'd been almost-friends. We'd had a little rapport going and he just pretended that I wasn't there! I was _so_ mad. But then I realized that I had accidentally activated one of my freaking amulets and it had actually turned me invisible. Thank the gods that I hadn't started screaming and kicking at him, or that would've been about ten times more awkward than it ended up being.

Why was it awkward, you ask?

Oh, you'll see. Let me keep telling you.

So I came across Link and the giggly Oracles in the woods between Holodrum and Labrynna while I was on my way back home. I was juggling with the idea of visiting Calatia next and swinging through Hyrule while Link wasn't there to distract me or something. I heard their laughter and then I heard _him_ laugh, and so curious ol' me flew her broom over there to go see who the heck was being so lovey-dovey in the middle of the Lost Woods.

I already told you how I thought he was being a jerk but I was just being an idiot, so I'll skip over the ten minutes I sat fuming on my broom.

Link seemed pretty happy to see me when I suddenly appeared, albeit a little surprised. I decided I really liked the way he laughed, especially because Farore tickled him from behind the second I showed up.

It was pretty clear pretty fast that they didn't actually have any plans to get it on with Link, though I never was sure whether or not he was aware of that. He obviously thought they were some of the most gorgeous creatures he'd ever laid eyes on, and they were spending a little time relaxing and hanging out normally with their savior before they went back to their Oracle-y duties.

"Yo," I'd said to him. He smiled at me and looked at the broom behind me, just hovering nice and patiently and obediently. Totally in control. Gods help me, I couldn't not blush. "So… sorry about that." He laughed.

"Don't worry. You weren't half as bad as some of the other stuff I ran into." He sounded like maybe he enjoyed our little game as much as I did.

Din and Nayru looked at each other conspiratorially—is sister telepathy a thing? I think I've heard of it being a thing—and pushed themselves up off of Link's arms. They'd be right back, they assured him. Farore giggled and whispered something in Link's ear before jumping up and prancing after her younger sisters. Whatever she said made him blush.

"Where ya headed to next?" I asked conversationally. I hopped back up on to my broom and made it come down lower so I could sit on it like a chair.

"Back to Hyrule, probably." I nodded. Home. His home. I missed my home.

"Ever gonna come back here?" He shrugged, not adding words. I guess that made sense, and it was enough of an answer for me. "What did green-hair say?" Link's blush jumped back into his cheeks at the mention. Ooh, it had really embarrassed him. I grinned wickedly.

"You know, I got magic I can use to drag it out of you." I wiggled my fingers in the air. His eyes widened when he didn't catch my bluff, but he didn't say anything. I sent a purple spark flying in the air, just a harmless little party trick that I'd learned when I was barely eight years old. Wasn't too impressive, but he seemed alarmed.

"I.. uh… I…" he stammered. I barely managed not to laugh. What an awkward little kid. But a cutie.

"C'mon, Link…" More sparks, and he seemed even more rattled than before.

"**_MapleIlikeyoudoyoulikemetoo_**?" he blurted out all of a sudden. Really, I don't know how I understood what he was saying. He liked me? Like, _like_ liked me? That explained his blush.

I gotta say, nobody who's seen Link can say with a straight face that he isn't cute. He needed cleaning real bad and a haircut wouldn't have hurt, but he was pretty dang attractive for a thirteen year old.

Did I like him, too?

Did I?

Did I?

I totally did.


End file.
